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The Chosen
20 December 2007 @ 09:44 am
An Actual Post  

So I never just post anymore.

Yeah, I know.

I only post if I've managed to write something, but that was never really the point of this LJ.  The point was to talk about generally unimportant things that matter a great deal to me.  And it's not like there haven't been a million.  I just haven't posted about them.  I dunno why.  But lately as I've been trying to write again, I've been thinking about a few of them.

So, since they've been on my mind...


The fall really sucked sports-wise for me.  Really really sucked.  My field hockey team won the national title.  This, is the only highlight of a rather shitty season. 

( Goin' Off )


And South isn't back until April.  Hooray for strikes! 


And that, is that.  I feel better.  I still don't know about the USWNT...but I love Heather.  I just can't not.  She's reading to little kids for sobbing out loud...

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I'm feeling...: annoyed
I'm singing to...: Riot (the Spash Vid mix) - Paramore
 
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The Chosen
27 August 2007 @ 08:25 am
An Actual Post  
Yeah, weird I know.



Oh, Huskers Volleyball is up and running again.  The AVCA Showcase Preseason Tourney was this weekend.  Nebraska ended up playing #5 preseason ranked UCLA.  Won in 4...of course.  We're looking oh so sweet and so not in preseason form.


The USWNT played their last send-off match before World Cup Saturday, beating Finland 4-0.  Heather and Tarp scored.  Abs went out in the 27th minute with a toe injury of some kind on which info is still vague.  World Cup starts Sept 10 and our women play their first match on the 11th.  Games are EARLY.  5 AM early.  We've got a plan...


South is...what it is.  I'm just kinda barreling through these eps ya know.  Pretty well written.  Cohesive timeline and story arcs.  Decent acting.  Gabby looks GORGEOUS.  Spencer and Ashley are still not even in the same frame.  New Girl asked about Spencer which I like because NO ONE does it.  Don't know how I feel about her or the story arc they're setting up for her.  We'll see next week...looks to be a doozy.  Aiden finally told Ash what a loser she is and left her!  Ash has a picture of Spence in her room...beside the picture of her and Aiden.  *rolls eyes*  Brilliant Ash, just brilliant.  Next week I'll at least get interaction in the same room between the two of them...who knows what that means.


Liverpool, after the win this weekend, is in 4th.  Chelsea...shocker...is in first followed by Man City and Wigan (I KNOW.)

And that's pretty much the weekend...
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I'm feeling...: bored
I'm singing to...: Hold On - KT Tunstall
 
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The Chosen
18 August 2007 @ 12:01 am
I just can't do anything else...  
I doubt it's what I really want...but it's something.  I'll do more with it...sometime.  It's rough right now probably because I'm so raw and confused and frustrated after tonight's South.  And yeah, first time using names but obviously I was going to write about them...It doesn't exactly capture the desperation that I want it to.  You don't really get how broken Ash is...I need to work on that.  But I just don't have it tonight...




"Hear me, I'm crying out.  I'm ready now.  Turn my world upside down.  Find me.  I'm lost inside the crowd.  It's getting loud.  I need you to see I'm screaming for you to please hear me."



( Hear Me )




 
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I'm feeling...: frustrated
I'm singing to...: Hear Me - Kelly Clarkson
 
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The Chosen
13 August 2007 @ 07:42 pm
I need more South avs  
Which means I actually just need more Spence and Spence and Ash avs.

Anyway, the missus and I took the day off with the hope that extra rest would pretty much knock out her cold. I think she's a good bit better, and I've used my last floating holiday. Also, I'm still on my South high. It'll probably just be a continual thing through the end of Sept.



But I owe drabble...and it's...well...I started with one idea and it led in another direction. I think...I mean it does what I wanted...




 
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I'm feeling...: peaceful
I'm singing to...: the whirring of my computer fans
 
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The Chosen
12 August 2007 @ 01:17 am
South of Nowhere  
Okay, so season three premiered yesterday.  I watched at 8, at 10, and at 12.  I watched it again today at 11.  I bought a new DVD recorder just to record this season because the other one was being a fucking bitch and refusing to finalize disks.  And yes, I will make your copy tomorrow and get it in the mail Monday.

Below, I will SPOIL THE HELL OUT OF the hour long premier.  I even have pics, though not from the premier...which is sad since the Spash make-out scene may seriously have been the hottest thing I have EVER seen....except for the scene from which my new av comes...and we haven't seen it yet.  Just a second long clip in a promo but DAMN.

If all you want to know is whether I liked it, whether I now care about the rest of the season, and whether Spencer and Ashley are back to season 1 (better) form then really quick - without spoilers - here it is.

This was the best episode EVER. BEST EVER.  Fucking awesome!  Seriously.  The acting has vastly improved.  The writing was so good.  The storylines were solid.  The pace and timing were perfect.  I'm so incredibly excited about the rest of the season now.  SO EXCITED.  And Spencer and Ashley...like 25 seconds of make out bliss.   I mean...OH. MY. GOD!

Now, spoilerish...If you haven't seen it and don't want to know - DON'T CLICK!



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I'm feeling...: giddy
I'm singing to...: clips from the South premier
 
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The Chosen
10 August 2007 @ 08:49 am
Friday  
It's here.  The day the the third season of South premiers.  I don't feel giddy or elated or even happy.  I feel heavy and I can't quite explain why.

I don't want to be at work.  It's fucking sunny outside and I want my summer days and sand between my toes again.  I miss the ocean.  Somewhere, in a past life, I lived by the sea and slept in a hammock.  Always there's this slight ache when I think of the ocean, of the cool, salty breeze and the warm sand that always burned my fucking feet.  Like I'll never be quite at home again until I'm there.  I can't explain it.  It just kinda makes me sad.  I don't talk about this shit because...why...

Anyway, cleaning and bathing the cat and working my ass of on a bike...not the way I'd love to spend a sunny, beautiful...if hot Friday morning/afternoon.  But whatev.  Life is what it is, not what we want it to be.  Sometimes things have to get done so we can enjoy the rest of life.

I think I'll feel better once I get out of this building.  Sometimes it just kinda sucks the life right out of me.  And Sara, stop writing fucking heavy depressing shit.  Honestly.  I know, I should just stop reading it if it's going to send me spiraling down the dark road where I wonder how I could possibly break Spencer's heart just a little more.  Seriously.  I want happy Spence.  I want the Spencer that I believe in, that I think maybe just maybe, we'll get this season.  The Spencer who knows who she is, what she wants.  And I tend to write her that way.  But still, there is Ashley.  And that's the problem because, yeah, Ashley is what Spencer wants.  I can't change that.  I can't make it any less true.  And Ashley, she just hurts Spencer right now.  So everything can't be shiny and happy.  Fuck.

I'm just a rambling, bumbling, fumbling mess this morning.  I want to be able to sit and think.  To sit with my music and just consider things for a while.  Not something I'm gonna get.  But my brain is all over the place and it needs sorting.  And I want to write.  I want to write these beautifully broken girls because...I know how.  So many pieces of a story that needs writing just keep popping up in vivid technicolor in my head.  Because I know, finally...maybe it won't be today, maybe it won't be forever.  But Spencer and Ashley...they are Spencer and Ashley.  Spencer is growing into herself and once she's got it, she's solid.  She'll be good regardless.  But she's golden with Ashley.  And I'm a fucking hopeless romantic.  Anyway, Ashley's better when she's with Spencer.  She wants to be better.  She can be.  She will be.  Someday.  And someday, they'll be perfect.  And I think, maybe, that I can write it.  I want to write it because I believe in the goodness of kids like this.  In that one sweet love that you may never know again and that everyone deserves.  Maybe here, more than anywhere else I know, is the chance to express that.

And now that I've rambled myself into happiness...for I really am a HOPELESS fucking romantic...I should write...something.  Oh, and for the record - I'm not rereading ANY of this.  It was what I thought.  It was what I needed to get out.  And now it's done.

So now, I give you this.  A wistful and longing piece.  They all seem that way of late...I like the blue...



( Blue )





 
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I'm feeling...: quixotic
I'm singing to...: a million different songs
 
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The Chosen
09 August 2007 @ 02:06 pm
Holy fuck it's Thursday!  
It just smacked me upside the head that it was Thursday which means...TOMORROW IS SOUTH!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!

I can't remember the last time I was so fucking excited about something.  Maybe when I went to see Sarah live for the first time.  Maybe at the start of season 2...but that didn't end well.

But now everyone is promising me happy Spash in the end and actual PDA.  Gabby and Mandy both with promises and rehearsals.  Holy fuck!  And I don't even care about Ash sleeping with emoAdien.  She's just guilt-ridden, lost, and scared to death.  She'll figure it out.  It's so weird that I actually believe in Ash...

But I'm supposed to be writing.  And like a million things want to be written.  Who knows what will work out.  I want to write about home.  Guess we're about to find out if I can...

And maybe it's happy...or sad...or mostly bittersweet and wistful.  It's kinda sorta what I'd like for her to be and what I believe she may honestly be.



"Can't you just adore her?"





 
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I'm feeling...: giddy
I'm singing to...: Adore Her - Mandy Moore
 
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The Chosen
06 August 2007 @ 01:32 pm
Because she is oh so pretty, not because this has anything to do with her...  

Anyway, yeah, the av you see here is 105 of 105.  It's the last one I can upload unless I take things down.  But Gabs is seriously sitting in my number 1 spot on the "Top 5" list so I'm completely okay with that.  I just...I mean...

And there are new promos.  We were assaulted with like 5 new 20 second promos for South on Friday.  I'm excited about this season.  Never thought that would happen.  But memo to Ashley -  No everything is not perfect again.  And memo to the South production crew - Thank you for listening to our pleas for a bit more intimacy.  We've already gotten more in these promos than in the first 2 seasons combined.

But the point, the reason why I'm here is actually not Spash.  Crazily enough, even the vaguest of notions that Liz might come back to AMC has resparked my complete and absolute love of BAM.  If pressed, I seriously doubt I could pick a favorite ship, but so often I feel like it's probably them.  It's odd.  I realize that.  I mean, we never even saw them together.  True, they are at least canon.  There was a relationship, even if it was off-screen.  So much of my love for them is wrapped up in my love of Maggie and my love of what they could have been. 

Maggie is most definitely one of my favorite characters EVER.  She's perfectly human, perfectly flawed.  So yeah, that certainly plays a part.  Still, so much of my love for them comes from understanding what they could have been.  Two women in love raising a child together.  It's something you don't see...at all on TV.  The potential they had to be a new family unit...it's what we all wanted to see.  Maggie's love for that kid was unquestioned from like the day she knew Bianca was keeping her.  She was like a proud papa and the "loss" hit her SO hard.  And then, off-screen, they were that beautiful new family.  There's just something different once a child is involved.  It's something none of my other ships have, something not even the fic writers have dealt with.  But it makes all the difference in the world.  It's a different weight and it makes every single choice so much more important, so much more significant.  And their world is rife with possibility now.  That's why I love them so much.



But onto writing.  Which is NOT DONE.  Seriously, my muse is NOT with me today.  It's a mess that I've been trying to sort out all day and will continue to mess with most of the night.  Update - It is...better.  Not great, maybe not even good, but at least cohesive.


Also, it's my first MATURE content disclaimer.  You have been warned.



"Your fingertips across my skin.  The palm trees swayin' in the wind.  Images."





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I'm feeling...: frustrated
I'm singing to...: Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
 
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The Chosen
23 July 2007 @ 10:16 am
You knew it was coming...  
"I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of one sweet love."


So, the weekend was largely devoted to DH...and to sleep.  Friday night we got our book around 12:30 and got home around 1 at which time I settled in to devote however long it took to finishing.  With a break to make tea @ 4:30, I read non-stop until around 10 AM on Saturday.  Around  9 hours of my life were devoted to finishing the Harry Potter series.  Was it worth it?  Honestly...I don't know.  What follows below are my thoughts on the final installment.  

DO NOT read below the cut if you haven't finished Deathly Hallows.  You have been warned.  I don't want to blamed for spoiling anyone.




So...that's done now.  I'm looking forward to the start of the EPL season on Aug 4.  I'm looking forward to Eden coming back for a one dall call in.  I'm looking forward to South premiering on Aug 10.  I'm looking forward to new Girltrash eps with Milby.  I'm looking forward to my packages getting here.  August is going to be a beautiful month.

One final thing - TONS of people are ready to burn down the Spash forums over the new promo in which Ash is repeatedly ALL OVER Aiden.  I've been thinking this whole time that I'm oddly undisturbed by this.  But here's my reasoning - Ashley is going to Aiden because he's safety and solace.  She feels guilty.  She's trying to make Spencer jealous.  I WILL NOT debate her sexual orientation over this.  WILL.  NOT.  DO.  IT.  I don't like it, but I get it.  I don't think this really affects her sexuality.  That's all I'm going to say.  Oh, and hooray for what has to be one of the hottest things I've EVER seen.  Spencer in the rain coat kissing Ash...just...*thud.*

So here's to August 10th.  It's all about the drama!
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I'm feeling...: hopeful
I'm singing to...: One Sweet Love - Sara Bareilles
 
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The Chosen
13 June 2007 @ 12:33 pm
So I should be doing something else...  
But lj has called to me and I doubt I could focus on my second chapter right now anyway.  We're on a resource busy which means NO ONE is doing anything so I couldn't concentrate.

I've been inspired, just today, to take my Spashley fic back up.  Mostly because there are lovely new sad songs about and they are FAR to weighty and depressing for my BAM fic no matter how angst filled it might be throughout.  Okay mostly they don't end well and that simply won't work for my BAM mood.  But they are SO good that some fic deserves to be written to them.  Spencer and Ashley (in that order, never the other) are the one couple who I ship that I don't know if I believe in anymore.  So these songs fit them.  We'll see if I can carry two at once.  BAM will always come first and if Spash starts to bleed over into BAM, I'll stop.  But the mood, the inspiration, is right there for me to take advantage of.  So, I will ATTEMPT it.  No promises but I did already have two chapters from the Spash fic to start.

That said, I've also discovered I'm quite the confusion.  I love angst.  If there's no angst, I doubt I'll read it.  I certainly don't enjoy writing happiness (regardless of the fact that I've never been happier in my life.)  However, I also demand, as a general rule, a happish ending.  Do what you will to my girls throughout so long as they are together in the end.  Sometimes, that just doesn't work though.  But it's what I always want.  I don't want the crushing fics in which a central character dies or my couple goes their separate ways.  Okay, one of the best fics I've ever read ends in devastating fashion with the death of a central character but that's beside the point.  I knew she was dead before I was out of the first chapter.  The point here, is that, within my own life I've never been happier.  Still, I want to read angst.  I want the crushing weight of devastation before the sweetness of the end.  Comedy rarely grabs my interest.  And still, I want the happy ending.  I don't want a black end.  A true romantic regardless of my realistic (many would call pessimistic) view.  It makes NO sense.  I know this and accept it.  It's just who I am.  Nothing is beautiful and worthwhile without work, without hardship, without tears.  Now exactly why it is that I still only write sadness and loss is something I'm uncertain about...

Finally I'm back to fic and avs.  I've started making avs again - Noir thus far and they do be pretty cool.  I've revised my first chapter, almost to its conclusion.  Hopefully the second chapter will follow by tomorrow.  Then I can FINALLY advance to new material.  There are some rough spots in my first chapter that I haven't sorted yet but I will before this is all said and done.  Right now, it's time to move on I think.  Maggie is where I want her to be and there are moments of beautiful heartbreak...I think.  I always did love my second chapter so maybe it won't take as long to revise.

Uh...life otherwise continues as usual.  Not so much new to report besides what I hope is the end of my relationship with blood relations.  Honestly, in the end, could be my only policy.  If it is selfish to want to be myself, to live for myself as I choose and not as others would like, then I will happily carry the banner of selfishness.  I only want to be who I am, not a reflection of anyone else.

And now, I give to you my inspiration

I don't know, I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in.
But I know it's never really over.
Three months and I'm still standing here.
Three months and I still remember it.
Three months and i'm still sober.
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers.

You mean more to me than anyone I ever loved at all.
But you taught me how to trust myself
And so I say to you, this is what I have to do.
Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you.
All I know is that I should.
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you.
All I know is that I should.
Cause she will love you more than I could.
She who dares to stand where I stood.

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I'm feeling...: content
I'm singing to...: Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
 
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The Chosen
08 June 2007 @ 10:27 am
Random...just random  
So, first off, this is going to be incredibly random.  I'm probably going to hit on at least 7 or 8 topics and who knows how in depth I'll go with any of them.  My schedule is...still very full.  We're going to look at cars this weekend (and quite possibly buy one) so I doubt I'll be home much.  And I've got to go to work and file all the data that just got error corrected and verified.  Hopefully, next week I'll at least have my schedule figured out...


Alrighty, I think I've written more than enough for today...
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I'm feeling...: bored
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The Chosen
11 May 2007 @ 10:01 am
Avatars...and stuff  
Okay, I won't actually start out with my subject heading.

Bum - my schedule has changed a bit.  I'm not getting in until around 4:30 or 5 now which is why I haven't been on YM.  When is a good time for outside of that?  Any ideas?  I miss talking to you and want to figure this out.

As to avatars - I bought the upgrade so I can upload 105.  This means I've got room for 70 more and I've really been working on them.  I've got a ton from Avatar: The Last Airbender and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.  I've got several from FFX and FFX-2.  I've got a couple from KH2 as well.  I'm going to spend the weekend searching for Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, Buffy, HP, Popular, VMars, Firefly, and other assorted pics to work into avatars.  If I'm lucky, I'll find some Burst Angel stuff as well.  So I'm really making use of the LJ...if in no other way of late than artistically.  It's fun though, and cheap.  Next I'll have to work out how I'm going to use all 105 of them...

Work is work.  Nothing new to report.  We're down right now obviously or I wouldn't be posting.  I've perfected the art of watching vids on the WM mini player while coding docs so my days tend to move by at a nice clip.  Weekend work is starting up though...not really excited about that.  But it's more money.  So there's that.

Uh...fic.  I'm still working through the numerous and complex issues surrounding the demise of BAM and Binks.  Bah.  Okay so maybe that's code for...I'm a lazy ass who'd rather read fic than write it because it takes a great deal of time and effort to actually write a fic.  But I really am going to get on it.  This weekend.  It's officially a goal to write a prologue or intro or chapter 1 or whatever it turns out to be.  I will have Maggie's life figured out I swear.  I'll deal with Binks when I have to.  But there it is - stated in writing.  I will have the first installment turned out by weekend's end.  Hold me to that.  Seriously.  As to the Spash fic, which yes I did invest a good deal of heart in, I don't think I have it in me to do them justice right now.  I think my own personal anger and frustration would bleed through and that's not fair to these characters.  If I find myself in a place where I feel I can pick it back up, I will.  That's all there is to that.

Otherwise, I eagerly await Girltrash.  I plan to devote copious amounts of time to making 70 avatars for this guy.  I'll write my first BAM installment and, of course, catch up on any updated fics.  Oh and search out those rare moments of sanity after Bianca's return when she actually talked about Maggie.  They're out there you know.  I mean she did a complete 180 at some point...but they're out there those beautiful moments of clarity.  Uh...dinner tonight at Outback and I'm selling off some shit to make a wee bit of cash.  I may struggle with Six Feet but I'll let it go.  As to Saturday and Sunday...NO idea other than what I've expressed above.  We never have plans beforehand.  I think I like it that way.

And now, I'm off to continue my vid watching and search for some avatars to straight steal (well borrow with the intent to credit but not return) while we're still down.

One last thing - I kinda miss waxing philosophical on here.  There are actually a few things I'd like to talk on for a bit but I can't ever devote that kind of time here at work.  So expect a post or two this weekend about actual topics and not just silly random life stuff.

EDIT - So Al and I bought a recumbent bike.  Finally a piece of exercise equipment we can both use and enjoy.  In other news, of course we get in about the time the second showing of South reruns is coming on.  It was Girl's Guide to Dating which is a quality season 1 ep.  I ended up watching Say It Ain't So Spencer and What Just Happened while I biked.  I hate to say, I really do, but I still believe in the goodness of Spencer and Ashley.  I may not like what I've been given but I love what they had in season 1.  That Spencer and Ashley had a chance to be endgame.  I want that Spencer and Ashley back... - END EDIT

- A few quotes for my own personal inspiration -

Why didn't I stay and fight for the person I want most in the world?

I wanted her more than I wanted to take my next breath.

K: I know the right person will come along
B: She has. I'm in love with Maggie. Just like ...
Both: ... you're in love with Zach.
K: Yeah. I know. I get it.
B: It's crazy. When you love someone, you can forgive the unforgivable.
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I'm feeling...: giddy
I'm singing to...: Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
 
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The Chosen
07 May 2007 @ 10:08 am
The Weekend  
was pretty good.  

Well, let me amend - everything but the sports part of the weekend was pretty good.  My Rangers were knocked out of the playoffs at home on Saturday 5-4.  I wish Ottawa the best of luck in thrashing the Sabres.  Go Sens!  Tenn played a double-header against 'Bama on Saturday in softball and swept them.  Monica Abbott broke Cat's total strikeout record.  Doesn't matter.  Cat is still, by far, a better pitcher.  BOO Monica, BOO!  Liverpool lost to Fulham...to Fulham!  I mean, it doesn't matter because we'll still finish top 4 no matter what but honestly, Fulham.  A few good things are the UCI won the Men's NCAA volleyball championship 3-1.  Go Anteaters!  Also, the Yanks had a good series against the Mariners and the Rocket is indeed coming home.  So there's that.

Besides the sports, the weekend was fairly uneventful.  No, I did not get to my fics.  Don't ask why.  I don't know why.   I think I'm having trouble deciding how to approach Maggie and Bianca.  I just don't know what to do about Binks.  I'm working on it.  I miss writing.  No, we didn't watch any more Gilgamesh or Gunslinger Girl.  I didn't play MLB 2K7 at all.  I played GTA III.  That's it.  I read some fic.  We watched A LOT of sports.  But...Girltrash!  I do believe I have talked about it on here...maybe.  Angela Robinson is doing these short webisode types with several actresses involved in lesbian film/tv including Gabrielle Christian and Mandy Musgrave.  Just discovered that Amber Benson (squee) is also in it.  Anyway, check the trailer.  We may finally get some decent Gabby/Mandy lip action...it just won't be on South.  Yeah, don't get me started on South.  I've just decided I'm not going to talk about it anymore.  But Girltrash...I can't wait for her to start posting the webisodes.  Just sad that Jordana Brewster had to pull out but hey, getting a network TV spot...I get that.

Um, a few notes.  I miss Heather...yes, already.  I miss Liz.  I've missed Liz forever.  Now Eden's gone and taken the scary Rita character with her.  But my BAM...my poor BAM.  Yes, I'm also annoyed about South.  I can't help it.  I thought it last season and I just feel the circular answers from Tom, Gabby, and Mandy add fuel to the thought that there is pressure from the network to scale back the lesbian content...what little was left by season 2's end.  Eh, that's all I've got though.  I called it last season.  Hell, I called it after watching the season 1 ending kiss.  So now all that's left is to wait and see.  I love the girls though.  They've always been very supportive of the story, and in return, I'll support them in keeping up with their careers.  However, I won't continue to watch the show if they choose to go the route of downplaying (code for erasing) the lesbian content even more than they already have.  I miss Burst Angel.  I want to read the manga.  I want the OVA to be released here.  I want to know if Funimation is considering another series.  I think I'll focus my energy and attention on these sorts of things.  They take up time and keep me occupied.  I don't mind so much not having the PS3 when I've got all these other things to focus on.  Yeah yeah, writing would do that too.  I'm going to sort it.  I am.  I've picked my ship.  Now I just have to determine how in the hell I'm going to fix the mess we've been left with.  I think that will be my plan for the week, get some idea of how to fix this and where it needs to go to accomplish the happy ending I want for these girls.

Oh, and Al and I, we're great.  But then you probably already knew that didn't you?


 
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I'm feeling...: excited
I'm singing to...: Je Ne Vous Oublie Pas - Celine Dion
 
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The Chosen
04 May 2007 @ 09:59 am
Resource Busy  

Yeah, we're resource busy here for the next half hour or so which means...I can't work!  It's really really sad.  And if we lose this morning's work...mine was SUPER easy.  Every single doc had the same 2 codes.  A few had an extra one but not many.  Long and short - it'd be easy for me to put the codes back in.


If you haven't seen Ciara's "Like a Boy" vid, check it out!  Interesting concept video for sure and girl can dance.  Plus, the meaning behind the song...not to be missed.  Also, if you need a laugh or a pick-me-up, check out Avril's "Girlfriend" vid.  Seriously funny.  Why yes, I did spend my morning watching vids...oh, and Kelly's new vid, lived up to the song.


Work is work.  It's still fine.  I'm listening to OotP which passes the time.  I should finish it up on Monday.  I strongly dislike most of them.  Harry, Ron...well mostly Harry and Ron.  I love Hermione.  I have no reason to dislike Ginny yet.  Neville's the cutest fella.  Gred and Forge...you have to adore them.  Uh, I've never been a huge Sirius fan.  Can't say I'm devastated that he's not around.  Lupin is my wolfy buddy.  Yeah.  OotP was such a better story than HBP.  God it SUCKS.  It's like reading bad fanfic when compared to those that came before it.  Way too much info crammed in.  No really details in most cases and mountains of them in a few.  Rushed as hell.  It was obvious that she wanted to get to book 7.  Bah.

Leaving at noon today!  Going home to clean.  Dinner tonight at Elmo's.  Turkey burger!  Don't have big weekend plans.  I'll be watching the Rangers v Sabres and probably some Yanks ball.  Soccer on Saturday as usual.  It'll be sports for the weekend I'd assume.  We HAVE to finish the two disks we've got of Gilgamesh.  Maybe watch some more Gunslinger Girl.  Maybe I'll play a full game of MBL 2K7 before it's due back.  Definitely read more fanfic.  I PLAN to try and write at least the opening chapter to a new fic.  Maybe take a look at my Spashley fic.  It's not happy, might never be.  Maybe that's good.  Yeah, maybe that's good...


But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it.
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over.
I wish that I could take it back.
But it's over.

We could be forever...

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I'm feeling...: cynical
I'm singing to...: It's Not Over - Secondhand Serenade
 
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The Chosen
20 April 2007 @ 02:30 pm
Argh...and Inspiration  
So I think I'm going to close the book on Bianca.  Hand me the brick and the trash bag.  I think I'm just going to drop her in the Atlantic.  Today, she and Zoe conspired, all giggly and middle school-like to spend lots of time together in London and Paris.  Bianca wants to take Zoe to all her favorite Parisian haunts.  They are going to see each other, blah blah blah.  Drivel.  Brick.  Trash bag.  Maggie, please for the love of cake, go fuck a lovely Parisian chick because Bianca doesn't deserve you.   You are a hot hot chick.  Go find someone who will love you, appreciate you, not take you for granted, and not run at the first sign of trouble.  You deserve it.  And if you see podBianca and Zoe out and about in Paris, feel free to flaunt your new, totally hot, girlfriend.  Gratuitous acts aren't frowned upon nearly so much in France...

However, now that I've gotten that out of my system, I do plan to fix this.  I actually feel quite inspired to write fanfic again.  My plan is quite grand in scale and scope.  None of my ships worked out.  None of them.  I'm going to fix it.  I'm going to write a story for each of them that ends happily if it KILLS me...and it might.  I love angst and honestly, I don't know that all of them would work out in the end.  But I'm going to find a way to make it so.  These girls deserve a chance at happiness and since their original writers fucked it all to hell (or never even gave them a shot) I'm going to do it.  I'm not saying I plan to write fluff.  I don't write fluff.  There will be angst and tons of it.  I can't very well fix the mess of Bianca and Maggie I've been left with without it.  And Buffy and Faith?  Without angst?  And violence?  Yeah right.  And Sam and Brooke?  Dear god that will be ugly and painful.  As to Spencer and Ashley...I don't even know.  That book isn't closed yet.  I need to get back to that fic.  I don't know though...I'm pretty sure it might not end happily.  I need to think about it.  I guess that's the thing.  When I think about all my ships, I don't honestly know that all of them would be endgame for each other.  Bianca and Maggie, I feel completely 100% certain they are endgame.  Honestly, Buffy and Faith, if they ever figure it out, would probably be endgame.  Sam and Brooke, I love these girls.  I think they could make it work once they got past their own issues.  Spencer and Ashley, I think I've let the second season jade me.  And they are so fucking young ya know?  It's hard to know what would happen when they went off to uni or whatever.  I know, I know...Sam and Brooke were in high school too.  But they were so well developed.  Honestly I think they could make it work because both parties would really want it in the end.  I'm not sure about Spencer and Ashley.  I just don't know them well enough as characters.  Well, that's not quite true.  I thought I knew them pretty well, then the writers completely changed everything in season two.

But there's the grand plan.  Fix the mess with fiction.  Someone is getting a happy ending damn it!  And maybe, after I fix my big four, I'll work on Kaylee and Inara.  Lots of potential there.  And Jo and Meg...really, don't even get me started.  It's so strange that I want to make people happy.  I really have gotten soft...but angst damn it!  There will be lots of it before there is happiness.

So I guess...I'll post my work here maybe.  I need to do character analysis and figure out where all my girls are now and where I want them to head.  I actually started this last night with Buffy and Faith.  I can't write them if I don't know them.  Buffy and Faith, I think I know them fairly well.  But Joss is adding to the canon with the season 8 comics so who knows what will happen.  One thing about me, I do like to stay within canon as much as possible unless I'm writting a complete AU.  But I'll post my character and relationship analysis here.  Could be interesting...maybe.
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I'm feeling...: determined
 
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The Chosen
23 January 2007 @ 01:13 pm
A Real Problem  
I have to address this because I have just realized what a problem this is becoming. I love South. You know this. I know this. Spencer and Ashley are my girls. I adore them, they are so freaking cute. However, I discovered Popular and with Popular, I discovered Sam and Brooke. Of course, they were never a canon couple. Neither were gay as far as the two seasons of canon were concerned (though those rumors about the third season did swirl about.) Still, there was incredible sexual tension there. Subtext abounded. Thus, I sought out fic. Obviously, as with all fanfic, quality varies greatly. However, there are some incredible stories out there and I've found them much more enjoyable and engrossing than even the best Spashley stories.

Thus my problem. I'm committed to a few fics on the Spashley board but I've lost my passion for them. The writers are fantastic and their stories are amazing but I'm just not as passionate about the subject matter anymore. This is what happens when I have too many obsessions. I can't maintain that kind of interest. Right now, Sam and Brooke make more sense to me, have more spark. They are everything good about Buffy and Faith without the actual trying to kill each other. We all know how Buffy and Faith are like my favorite subtexty couple of all time. Sam and Brooke though, rivaling them with those looks, those fights, excuses to touch and be near. I could talk about the subtexty moments forever.

Back to my problem though. These authors have given a lot of themselves already on these stories. I think I'm following and feedbacking on...4. Seriously: Twenty Six Miles, Time Doesn't Exist. Clocks Exist, The Problem With Me, and Butterflies and Hurricanes. I was incredibly excited about all of these stories when they started. Now sometimes I find reading them choresome. I feel like I owe it to the authors to stick with them but there are days when I just don't even want to bother. I think I need a break once I get through these guys. I may have reached my Spash limit for a bit. That, and characters are starting to bleed a bit on me.
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The Chosen
22 January 2007 @ 02:12 pm
GLAAD  
So South got nominated for a GLAAD award again: Best Dramatic Show...

Up against Hex, L, The Sopranos, and...something else. L will probably win again. We should have won LAST YEAR. Bah. Anyway, this is GOOD news. Even if I felt this season was lackluster when compared with last season, publicity is ALWAYS a good thing.

( The South Rant )
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