restless
restless
melancholy
frustratedI'm back, a week later. A week and a drabble later. Yes, I've managed to write another one. No it isn't perfection and beauty and awesomeness, but it is moving foward. It is getting out of bed. It is moving into the day. It is trying for the future. It's still oddly hopeful. I refuse to write the angst and anger the promos often inspire in me. I don't want new girls and Ash kissing boys again. I want roses, and I love yous, and sitting in laps. I don't want to get from naked Spencer to Spencer kissing a new girl. I want candles and couches and sitting oh so very close. So here's to moving forward. Here's to having hope. Here's to the girl I know and love and who I worry is going to fade away.
thankfulIt was one line. Four words. This is what I ended up with. Obviously I'm stuck at the same point.
accomplishedOk, I seriously haven't even looked this back over. I wrote it and now I'm posting as I don't have time for anything else. It's the start of an idea I have for something more. Obviously I make no promises except that I'll revise sometime soon. Oh...it's angsty.
Don't stop now. I need this to hurt. Burn it into my mind. No more second-guessing anymore.
This is how it ends.
Don't stop now. Get my head on straight. And if seeing this is what it takes, please don't stop it now.
This will be the last time.
contemplativeI offer this. The first real bit of work in weeks. The general picture along with the first line came to me. I went with it as I always attempt to do. I make no promises of its worth. It is what it is - a sad look at the girls I love. It's what I tend to feel I write best...
blankSo I make no promises about this. It's an introspective piece, not much action going on. It's the first attempt in quite some time. I'm just trying to get back into the flow. The first line came to me and I just developed from there. For what it is, I do kinda sorta think it's ok. That's all I have to offer on the subject.
accomplished
peaceful
okayThis is the deal. I started on a new project which actually requires me to work most of my 9 hours and that's when I did all of my drabbling. It's rare that I sit down after I get home and write because frankly, I've got other things I'd rather be doing most of the time. If it turns out that I can't settle into the new project and work myself some free time, yeah I'll start writing at home more because I did promise myself I was going to write every single day and I certainly haven't stuck to that.
Also, as an aside, my foray into semi (read almost completely) rpfs has been pretty much fucking derailed by the bloody mess the USWNT has created for me. If you know, you know. If you don't then it doesn't really matter much anyway. Hope is my home girl. Greg you are a dick who never should have been the coach of any team, let alone my team. Lilly, Abby, and the "senior leaders" fucking suck. And my UNC girls better fucking be on the right side. Lori, I really kinda heart you right now. Heather, don't fucking disappoint me.
Anyway, new inspiration I have, and have drabbled on. Seriously, I'll try to post it tomorrow.
Oh, I have discovered, slightly, the love that is Friday Night Lights. Mostly meaning that I've watched one episode, fell in love and bought the first season but haven't gotten any further because sports are my life. And Heroes. Well, I heart Niki and Claire and Hiro. Probably half way through season one. Oh Niki...
And now, a sad little offering. My way of dealing with frustration and attempting a bit of closure on a painful subject. My apologies to the subject. Also, as almost always, I think it's not even so very good and most definitely rough around the edges. She'll want for editing she will...
amused
amusedOh, I suppose I should preface with "vague sexual references."
frustrated
sleepyI suppose I should tag it MATURE as there are vague sexual references.
You sighed and I was lost in you. Weeks could've passed for all I knew.
satisfiedI should've told you everything. I never gave you anything. I should've told you everything. If I could give you anything, then I would tell you everything.
melancholy
drained"Please let me out before I turn into a box of things reminding me how much I'm missing you."
moodyInspired by a stuffed bear. I like parts of it. I'll come back to it and clean it up in a bit. All these of late have those odd twinges of hope to them. Who can say why...
"He said come and lay your weary soul to rest from wanderin'."
thoughtful
annoyed